Introduction

HI! I am taking a huge leap of faith by creating this blog. I am a very private person. The less people that know about my life the better. So why start a blog? Throughout our TTC journey I have tremendously relied on blogs and message boards. Real people with real live infertility issues. Not some generic response on wedmd.com or in a medical journal. I love hearing the success stories and the failures help educate me. So by starting this blog if I can just help ONE woman who is struggling with infertility, then it was completely worth the invasion of privacy.

"When are you going to have a baby?" It's a question we get asked all the time. Never ask anyone this question! You never know what battle they might be fighting. It brings up a wide range of emotions and it's just plain rude or nosy.

My story is simple but yet complicated. I am in my late 20's. I got married young and naturally conceived my daughter. Actually I was on the birth control patch when she was conceived. She was a bit of a surprise! But a true blessing none the less. The baby was born and we divorced. Fast forward a few years and I am happily married to the true love of my life and we have been TTC since the day we got married almost 2 years ago.

I have what is called Secondary Infertility. I have conceived and delivered a child so I must be fertile, right? That's what I believed two years ago. There is no medical reason why we can't conceive. I have mild PCOS and mild Endo. Both are under control and have been for quite some time without the use of meds. Unexplained secondary infertility. It's a hard diagnosis to swallow.

Yes, I label myself as infertile even though I have a beautiful healthy daughter. I deeply sympathize with all of the child-less infertile couples out there. Do I know exactly how they feel? No. I am a mom. It is the greatest joy in my life. However, there is a deep need/ache/want for a 2nd child. A child that is my husband's. I want to experience a pregnancy with him. I know that he will be a rock star in the delivery room. And I already know that he will be a great dad because he is an amazing step-dad. There is also the great desire to give my daughter a sibling. She would be a wonderful big sis!

My body has failed me but I am fighting back! Here's a overview of the treatment we have done so far:

We TTC naturally for 4 cycles. I had a feeling something wasn't right so I went to my OBGYN. I wasn't ovulating so I started Clomid. I call this drug the "devil's drug". I had weight gain and became a very big bitch. I did ovulate on 100 mg but after 4 cycles we still didn't conceive. BTW, my husband's sperm is good quality. Then it was time to see the RE. More blood, ultrasounds, and tests. Nothing was wrong except that I wasn't ovulating on my own. We have done 4 IUIs with injectables (Gonal F and Ovidrel) and Clomid. Each cycle was a different dose. Every cycle I produced at least 2 follicles. One cycle I had 3. So I had good results from the drugs. Still not pregnant.

Right now I am waiting for my period so I can start birth control pills to begin our 1st IVF cycle. When that begins I will be posting more frequently.