Showing posts with label Daughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daughter. Show all posts
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Secondary Infertility
I have a slight addiction to youtube videos. This is a good one that explains that feelings you go through when you have secondary infertility. The woman in the video has primary infertility but she hits the nail on the head when describing it. "Don't be greedy", that is something a think about every single day. And I know exactly what I am missing. Pain is pain. Primary or secondary. The ache is within all of us.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Baby dreams
Before my husband and I got married we had decided that we would start trying for a baby right after our wedding. I honestly believed we would have a baby nine months later. I was so confident in fact that I purchased 2 "baby" related items.
I bought this shirt. I had (still have) all of these dreams about announcing our pregnancy by having my daughter where this shirt to a family dinner or celebration with our extended family. Say for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, oh and it could work for 4th of July, or how about President's Day?! Any day! This shirt is a year and a half old. It no longer fits. I won't be buying another until I see those 2 TWO pink lines!
I bought this shirt. I had (still have) all of these dreams about announcing our pregnancy by having my daughter where this shirt to a family dinner or celebration with our extended family. Say for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, oh and it could work for 4th of July, or how about President's Day?! Any day! This shirt is a year and a half old. It no longer fits. I won't be buying another until I see those 2 TWO pink lines!
And I bought this onesie. It's a personal joke between my husband and I. I know he would love it and laugh, a lot. I had dreamed of putting this onesie into a gift bag with the BFP pregnancy test and surprising him. Now the surprise won't be, "I'm having a baby!". The surprise will be, "we are FINALLY having a baby!!!!!".
Life throws us many obstacles and this path was not one we had expected. One step closer.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Introduction
HI! I am taking a huge leap of faith by creating this blog. I am a very private person. The less people that know about my life the better. So why start a blog? Throughout our TTC journey I have tremendously relied on blogs and message boards. Real people with real live infertility issues. Not some generic response on wedmd.com or in a medical journal. I love hearing the success stories and the failures help educate me. So by starting this blog if I can just help ONE woman who is struggling with infertility, then it was completely worth the invasion of privacy.
"When are you going to have a baby?" It's a question we get asked all the time. Never ask anyone this question! You never know what battle they might be fighting. It brings up a wide range of emotions and it's just plain rude or nosy.
My story is simple but yet complicated. I am in my late 20's. I got married young and naturally conceived my daughter. Actually I was on the birth control patch when she was conceived. She was a bit of a surprise! But a true blessing none the less. The baby was born and we divorced. Fast forward a few years and I am happily married to the true love of my life and we have been TTC since the day we got married almost 2 years ago.
I have what is called Secondary Infertility. I have conceived and delivered a child so I must be fertile, right? That's what I believed two years ago. There is no medical reason why we can't conceive. I have mild PCOS and mild Endo. Both are under control and have been for quite some time without the use of meds. Unexplained secondary infertility. It's a hard diagnosis to swallow.
Yes, I label myself as infertile even though I have a beautiful healthy daughter. I deeply sympathize with all of the child-less infertile couples out there. Do I know exactly how they feel? No. I am a mom. It is the greatest joy in my life. However, there is a deep need/ache/want for a 2nd child. A child that is my husband's. I want to experience a pregnancy with him. I know that he will be a rock star in the delivery room. And I already know that he will be a great dad because he is an amazing step-dad. There is also the great desire to give my daughter a sibling. She would be a wonderful big sis!
My body has failed me but I am fighting back! Here's a overview of the treatment we have done so far:
We TTC naturally for 4 cycles. I had a feeling something wasn't right so I went to my OBGYN. I wasn't ovulating so I started Clomid. I call this drug the "devil's drug". I had weight gain and became a very big bitch. I did ovulate on 100 mg but after 4 cycles we still didn't conceive. BTW, my husband's sperm is good quality. Then it was time to see the RE. More blood, ultrasounds, and tests. Nothing was wrong except that I wasn't ovulating on my own. We have done 4 IUIs with injectables (Gonal F and Ovidrel) and Clomid. Each cycle was a different dose. Every cycle I produced at least 2 follicles. One cycle I had 3. So I had good results from the drugs. Still not pregnant.
Right now I am waiting for my period so I can start birth control pills to begin our 1st IVF cycle. When that begins I will be posting more frequently.
"When are you going to have a baby?" It's a question we get asked all the time. Never ask anyone this question! You never know what battle they might be fighting. It brings up a wide range of emotions and it's just plain rude or nosy.
My story is simple but yet complicated. I am in my late 20's. I got married young and naturally conceived my daughter. Actually I was on the birth control patch when she was conceived. She was a bit of a surprise! But a true blessing none the less. The baby was born and we divorced. Fast forward a few years and I am happily married to the true love of my life and we have been TTC since the day we got married almost 2 years ago.
I have what is called Secondary Infertility. I have conceived and delivered a child so I must be fertile, right? That's what I believed two years ago. There is no medical reason why we can't conceive. I have mild PCOS and mild Endo. Both are under control and have been for quite some time without the use of meds. Unexplained secondary infertility. It's a hard diagnosis to swallow.
Yes, I label myself as infertile even though I have a beautiful healthy daughter. I deeply sympathize with all of the child-less infertile couples out there. Do I know exactly how they feel? No. I am a mom. It is the greatest joy in my life. However, there is a deep need/ache/want for a 2nd child. A child that is my husband's. I want to experience a pregnancy with him. I know that he will be a rock star in the delivery room. And I already know that he will be a great dad because he is an amazing step-dad. There is also the great desire to give my daughter a sibling. She would be a wonderful big sis!
My body has failed me but I am fighting back! Here's a overview of the treatment we have done so far:
We TTC naturally for 4 cycles. I had a feeling something wasn't right so I went to my OBGYN. I wasn't ovulating so I started Clomid. I call this drug the "devil's drug". I had weight gain and became a very big bitch. I did ovulate on 100 mg but after 4 cycles we still didn't conceive. BTW, my husband's sperm is good quality. Then it was time to see the RE. More blood, ultrasounds, and tests. Nothing was wrong except that I wasn't ovulating on my own. We have done 4 IUIs with injectables (Gonal F and Ovidrel) and Clomid. Each cycle was a different dose. Every cycle I produced at least 2 follicles. One cycle I had 3. So I had good results from the drugs. Still not pregnant.
Right now I am waiting for my period so I can start birth control pills to begin our 1st IVF cycle. When that begins I will be posting more frequently.
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